A Voice-over...
Samajh nahi aaya na...?? When I heard the term for the first time, even I didn't. It was like Sania Mirza asked about coriander, or Sushil Kumar told about 'Salsa'. Aur uspar bolte hain, "Voice-over karna hai Saavi... take the script". And Saavi-Clue-less! Aisa laga jaise 'yaad karte' hain na..vaise hi voiceover bhi karte honge.
However,about the voice-over I'll make it easier for you with the help of a short narration. Here it goes.
One of my male listener from Bihar called up the other day, saying "Congratulation, aap maa ban gaye.." And I was like "What Fish...? Single hona bhi matlab apraadh ho gaya. Maana people take pleasure in creating rumors about us... but ye to limit hi cross kar gaya...Imagine Main maa ban gayi.. aur mujhe pata hi nahi.." Immediately I said," achcha..?? Kab??" Listener- abhi abhi (no nine mths..?)maine aapki aawaaz suni. Ek advertisement main aap hi to apni beti se keh rahi thi..."Phir se itni mehngi Saree? lagta hai tumhe paison ki koi fiqr hi nahi.." Phir aapki beti kehti hai "nahi maa... fiqr hai... tabhi to maine ye saree li hai... ******* designer showroom se.."
For the first time in my life I sank in relief... I told the listener, "Okkk!! that ways...Ha wo to voice-over mein aisa hi hota hai...even we play different characters off air na." (except RJing u see..!)
Yaani character ki awaaz hai- Voice-over.In short VO.
Dear Reader, We are the radio people. And alike TV and film artists even we enact. Bas farq itna hai... wo dikhte hain aur hum sunai dete hain.
Wikipedia defines 'voice-over' as "a production technique where a voice that is not part of the narrative (non-diegetic) is used in a radio, television production, filmmaking, theatre, or other presentations.[1] The voice-over may be spoken by someone who appears elsewhere in the production or by a specialist voice actor. Also known as off-stage or off camera commentary"
Moral of the story- Jo voices aap radio spots/ television/ films/theaters/ presentation etc. main sunte hain (off course human voice-in language) -they are the voice-overs. In short VO. Pure audio effect, Voice-over has all the capability to enhance or deteriorate the final production.
When Big B narrates a movie in his own voice it is voice-over, when a female voice names its clients before the starting and after the ending of a TV Serial,"Iss programme ke praayojak the...bingo mad angles- har angle se'muaah', boroplus prickly heat powder, tajmahal tea" it is a voice over. When I say "Phir se itni mehngi Saree? lagta hai tumhe paison ki koi fiqr hi nahi.." in a radio spot it is a voice-over. Even Ravi shastri in his commentary has voice-over.
Most of us think..."VO mein kya hai.. bas bolna hi to hota hai..itni si baat ke bhi paise milte hain in logon ko.." But no! VOs are quite difficult. You have you own style, you can't make it rhyming in informative ones.You should possess clear pronunciation, speed should be correct, you should know the feel and above everything pauses should be correct. Otherwise, your voice-over shan't sound good!
Infact, a bad VO spoils it all. Vedio achchha hai.. par Vo bekar to production bekaar! Personally I like the voice-overs of the lady for Sony TV (CLIENT ENDORSEMENT NAMES), and for colors-Promo male voice over used in serial Madhubala's Promotion! Quite emphatic...
I wish I could give you some sound examples, but main technically itna strong nahi hoon na... so phir kabhi- if you attend a personal class by me..!
Vaise ek baat kahoon.. main aksar TV/Film stars se kehti hoon.."ye log kya kya to advts. kar lete hain na- (remember M.S. Dhoni in mysore sandal soap :P)Dhyan Rakhna chahiye. I even tease them for this. But ab khud Voice-overs karte hain to pata lagta hai... Director jo kehta hai.. karna padta hai.. bOSS HUMSE BHI NAHI POOCHHTE -tUM VO KAROGE KYA?? Bas farmaan milta hai.." Saavi- wife ka chracter hai, bahu ki feel laana... aur maa.. uska role bhi hai.." Real life mein to bane nahi.. par karna padta hai.. That's profession u see..
Aur ab bas...'Voice-over par nibandh lekhan finish.. Good day!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
A letter to Marwar...
A letter to Marwar...
From Home to another Home- who beats in my heart...Marwar!
Dear Marwar, How are you? With a hope that you are in best of your health and spirits... finally I have convinced myself to write to you. You must be thinking, 'why a letter to me today...? we haven't met since years..' Ya, I understand I haven't met you since years. But I guess the same guilt forces me to write to you today.
I remember, when I was in class H.K.G., Mamma Papa got me enrolled in city's best school- Modern school- an English medium convent. And you know what- I hated you then. I always took care that by no means I should speak Marwari in school. If 'gaon' had to be mentioned of, I spoke 'MARWAR' in such a spooky English tone that everybody thought -IT IS A MODERN VILLAGE!!(Imagine modern village.) In fact, when papa came to pick me up-I felt like.. "Papa, why do you speak marwari in my school?? What will my friends think?? Will they not find me 'Ganvaar'?? Huh.!. Papa never got good marks in English. So he wanted us to be such good at English that nobody is able to question. His thought got us into English English English. I mean, we children had to converse in English only. Further, English was compulsory in school too. So by any means my greatest way to be in touch with you was a mile away. Yaani angrezi ke chakkar mein marwari kam boli. But ya don't worry- English ke baad sabse zyada Marwari hi boli.
Fondest of my memories regarding you- come from my childhood. I guess I have been at your place twice or thrice. Summer holidays and a wedding! Ya,when I was young, there was a craze.. and if not craze.. a will to move to 'नानाणे- नाना का घर . नानी भाणो देई ... नाना पान लगाई... मैं खेलां ...and what not. But I guess with time everything changes. Your cousins are your competitors and lack of will creates gaps in visiting too. I think that's quite personal to share, but- I think nani always liked her male grandchildren more than me.. so even that created a question mark on my visits.
Recently, there were 2-3 weddings in the family that occurred at your place- Dalu Bhaiya, Sonu, renu jiji.. Somehow, even they didn't force and I guess I hve been busier than Bill Gates..! Earlier studies and now Job... they haven't given me time to visit you. This troubles me. my heart pains too. Papa says, "निकालो महीने भर रो time" and I say a no. No options you see. But I miss you.. I miss that टांके पर bath, बोर्टी री छाया , गाँव री रेत , बाड़ो , मोर रा पंख ... etc, etc.I miss you marwar.
Thanks to facebook. I liked 'पतासी काकी ' today itself and was overwhelmed to see what exists in 'मारवाड़ ' दादी रो लाड , ऊंटा री सवारी , बाजरे री रोटी , केर रो अचार , छत माथे सूणों, मतीरे रो साग .
However,I am sorry. I haven't visited you for more than 10 years just because of my prejudices.I know saying is not enough. But I seriously mean it... I will love you forever. I will definitely take up you in my life as much as I can... whether it be laapsi in food, ghaaghro in clothing, mojadi in foot or language.. BUt please forgive me!
And ya, sorry for writing in English. Actually, my expressions take a better leap in English. Hope you understand.
Thanks and regards
Saavi
From Home to another Home- who beats in my heart...Marwar!
Dear Marwar, How are you? With a hope that you are in best of your health and spirits... finally I have convinced myself to write to you. You must be thinking, 'why a letter to me today...? we haven't met since years..' Ya, I understand I haven't met you since years. But I guess the same guilt forces me to write to you today.
I remember, when I was in class H.K.G., Mamma Papa got me enrolled in city's best school- Modern school- an English medium convent. And you know what- I hated you then. I always took care that by no means I should speak Marwari in school. If 'gaon' had to be mentioned of, I spoke 'MARWAR' in such a spooky English tone that everybody thought -IT IS A MODERN VILLAGE!!(Imagine modern village.) In fact, when papa came to pick me up-I felt like.. "Papa, why do you speak marwari in my school?? What will my friends think?? Will they not find me 'Ganvaar'?? Huh.!. Papa never got good marks in English. So he wanted us to be such good at English that nobody is able to question. His thought got us into English English English. I mean, we children had to converse in English only. Further, English was compulsory in school too. So by any means my greatest way to be in touch with you was a mile away. Yaani angrezi ke chakkar mein marwari kam boli. But ya don't worry- English ke baad sabse zyada Marwari hi boli.
Fondest of my memories regarding you- come from my childhood. I guess I have been at your place twice or thrice. Summer holidays and a wedding! Ya,when I was young, there was a craze.. and if not craze.. a will to move to 'नानाणे- नाना का घर . नानी भाणो देई ... नाना पान लगाई... मैं खेलां ...and what not. But I guess with time everything changes. Your cousins are your competitors and lack of will creates gaps in visiting too. I think that's quite personal to share, but- I think nani always liked her male grandchildren more than me.. so even that created a question mark on my visits.
Recently, there were 2-3 weddings in the family that occurred at your place- Dalu Bhaiya, Sonu, renu jiji.. Somehow, even they didn't force and I guess I hve been busier than Bill Gates..! Earlier studies and now Job... they haven't given me time to visit you. This troubles me. my heart pains too. Papa says, "निकालो महीने भर रो time" and I say a no. No options you see. But I miss you.. I miss that टांके पर bath, बोर्टी री छाया , गाँव री रेत , बाड़ो , मोर रा पंख ... etc, etc.I miss you marwar.
Thanks to facebook. I liked 'पतासी काकी ' today itself and was overwhelmed to see what exists in 'मारवाड़ ' दादी रो लाड , ऊंटा री सवारी , बाजरे री रोटी , केर रो अचार , छत माथे सूणों, मतीरे रो साग .
However,I am sorry. I haven't visited you for more than 10 years just because of my prejudices.I know saying is not enough. But I seriously mean it... I will love you forever. I will definitely take up you in my life as much as I can... whether it be laapsi in food, ghaaghro in clothing, mojadi in foot or language.. BUt please forgive me!
And ya, sorry for writing in English. Actually, my expressions take a better leap in English. Hope you understand.
Thanks and regards
Saavi
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
A dissatisfied post..!
A listener asked today, “Are you dissatisfied with your life??”
OMG! Usey bhi pata chal gaya ke I am dissatisfied. Ohh No! O s(h)it!!
Originally, I should ponder upon the fact that how did the listener know that I am dissatisfied. Radio par to dikhta bhi nahi. But then, I guess, the technology has advanced in such a way that everything can happen. If Shahrukh can create the super flop ‘Ra- One’ even the listener can gauge my dissatisfaction. In fact, this brings me to a conclusion that- dissatisfaction is like love- chhipaaye nahi chhipta! And the more you try to hide the better will be its visibility.
Vaise, coming back to DISSATISFACTION- the act certainly possesses some symptoms. Or to explain it ‘bitter’ ye sab situations hongi tab aapke dissatisfied hone ki sambhaavnaayen badh jaati hain. So,here I narrate-
SYMPTOM No. 1: Early show: Dear reader, I am a Radio Jockey –who has to present live shows on air. With my show timing being: Morning 7 to 12 noon, I have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning. In this world of super luxury, imagine when people sleep till 10 in the morning, if I am asked to wake up before 6, tell me is that not a reason of dissatisfaction…??
SYMPTOM No. 2: Regular Shows: Dear Reader, if you have read my previous posts, you’ll know that I am an RJ who has completed 1000 shows on air without a holiday. Ab socho jab 4 saalon se sirf 9 din ki chhutti hi mili ho… dissatisfaction nahi hoga???
SYMPTOM No. 3: Same Job: You know what?? They say one should change his/her private job within 3 years. Now that I have completed 4 years in a single institution, more than I feel, the people’s comments make me feel.. “Saavi.. 4 saalon se ek hi jagah….??? Ohh no! Koi aur offer nahi hoga?? (Well Bro.. this is a secret is the.. radio mein hai naukriyon ka jamghat is the..! I mean- even I had handsome job offers.. but nothing could be finalized, so I am here ) Par log kahan samajhte hain… ab batao nahi hoga dissatisfaction..??
SYMPTOM No. 4: I haven’t had my own Bangla or Gaddi: You guys might not take it that seriously, but people are so ambitious these days that by the time they have worked for 3-4 years they possess their Bangla, Gaddi… and if not both- a 4wheeler Gaddi at least. And look at me- main to aaj bhi Papa ki gaddi mein ghoomti hoon… so kaho… nahi hoga dissatisfaction??
SYMPTOM No. 5: I am a little less flaunting: O yes! I actually can’t display too much. Na mere paas 20 hazar ka mobile hai, na main roz facebook par pictures post karti hoon, and I am not brand cautious either. In fact, you know what I can’t even digest a 15-20 lakh tak ki gaddi. Meaning, I start feeling giddy and my head rolls in all sort of luxury cars. Ab in nakhron ke bina, how will, I turn eligible to be an ‘ameer’ or an ameer RJ. So another cause of my dissatisfaction.
SYMPTOM No.6: I wasn’t born Katrina: You see, life’s pretty worse. Jitne deewane Katrina ke hain… humare kahan??? So, dissatisfaction to hai.. (Are you taking me seriously./…?? Pls. don’t :P)
SYMPTOM No. 7: Absence of a boyfriend : Probably, this one’s the most interesting one. Till date, many have proposed on air but ‘Mera to boyfriend bhi nahi hai’ Reason being I know people don’t fall in love with voices. Aur phir, kiske durdin aaye hain.. ki humein jhele…?? In all, personally I really don’t have time for a boyfriend, but as you let somebody know the fact, they behave awk…- with the mouth wide open they say “WhaaaatT!”
SYMPTOM No. 8: Regular RJing habits: I don’t know whether you know it or not but as an RJ we have to worry about everything. Our links, our shows, our triggers and what not. If even a link of mine is not delivered properly, I am tensed. I dream of studio, links even today. So.. even an improper show is a dissatisfaction.
For now, as I have already narrated so many causes, I should rather jump from a height, or kill myself. But no sweetheart. I mean it- A FEW PIECES OF DISSATISFACTION ARE GOOD FOR LIFE. FOR THEY KEEP YOU WORKING… WORKING HARD! DISSATISFACTION BREEDS PERFECTION!
So dear Listener, yes I am dissatisfied but I enjoy being one!!
OMG! Usey bhi pata chal gaya ke I am dissatisfied. Ohh No! O s(h)it!!
Originally, I should ponder upon the fact that how did the listener know that I am dissatisfied. Radio par to dikhta bhi nahi. But then, I guess, the technology has advanced in such a way that everything can happen. If Shahrukh can create the super flop ‘Ra- One’ even the listener can gauge my dissatisfaction. In fact, this brings me to a conclusion that- dissatisfaction is like love- chhipaaye nahi chhipta! And the more you try to hide the better will be its visibility.
Vaise, coming back to DISSATISFACTION- the act certainly possesses some symptoms. Or to explain it ‘bitter’ ye sab situations hongi tab aapke dissatisfied hone ki sambhaavnaayen badh jaati hain. So,here I narrate-
SYMPTOM No. 1: Early show: Dear reader, I am a Radio Jockey –who has to present live shows on air. With my show timing being: Morning 7 to 12 noon, I have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning. In this world of super luxury, imagine when people sleep till 10 in the morning, if I am asked to wake up before 6, tell me is that not a reason of dissatisfaction…??
SYMPTOM No. 2: Regular Shows: Dear Reader, if you have read my previous posts, you’ll know that I am an RJ who has completed 1000 shows on air without a holiday. Ab socho jab 4 saalon se sirf 9 din ki chhutti hi mili ho… dissatisfaction nahi hoga???
SYMPTOM No. 3: Same Job: You know what?? They say one should change his/her private job within 3 years. Now that I have completed 4 years in a single institution, more than I feel, the people’s comments make me feel.. “Saavi.. 4 saalon se ek hi jagah….??? Ohh no! Koi aur offer nahi hoga?? (Well Bro.. this is a secret is the.. radio mein hai naukriyon ka jamghat is the..! I mean- even I had handsome job offers.. but nothing could be finalized, so I am here ) Par log kahan samajhte hain… ab batao nahi hoga dissatisfaction..??
SYMPTOM No. 4: I haven’t had my own Bangla or Gaddi: You guys might not take it that seriously, but people are so ambitious these days that by the time they have worked for 3-4 years they possess their Bangla, Gaddi… and if not both- a 4wheeler Gaddi at least. And look at me- main to aaj bhi Papa ki gaddi mein ghoomti hoon… so kaho… nahi hoga dissatisfaction??
SYMPTOM No. 5: I am a little less flaunting: O yes! I actually can’t display too much. Na mere paas 20 hazar ka mobile hai, na main roz facebook par pictures post karti hoon, and I am not brand cautious either. In fact, you know what I can’t even digest a 15-20 lakh tak ki gaddi. Meaning, I start feeling giddy and my head rolls in all sort of luxury cars. Ab in nakhron ke bina, how will, I turn eligible to be an ‘ameer’ or an ameer RJ. So another cause of my dissatisfaction.
SYMPTOM No.6: I wasn’t born Katrina: You see, life’s pretty worse. Jitne deewane Katrina ke hain… humare kahan??? So, dissatisfaction to hai.. (Are you taking me seriously./…?? Pls. don’t :P)
SYMPTOM No. 7: Absence of a boyfriend : Probably, this one’s the most interesting one. Till date, many have proposed on air but ‘Mera to boyfriend bhi nahi hai’ Reason being I know people don’t fall in love with voices. Aur phir, kiske durdin aaye hain.. ki humein jhele…?? In all, personally I really don’t have time for a boyfriend, but as you let somebody know the fact, they behave awk…- with the mouth wide open they say “WhaaaatT!”
SYMPTOM No. 8: Regular RJing habits: I don’t know whether you know it or not but as an RJ we have to worry about everything. Our links, our shows, our triggers and what not. If even a link of mine is not delivered properly, I am tensed. I dream of studio, links even today. So.. even an improper show is a dissatisfaction.
For now, as I have already narrated so many causes, I should rather jump from a height, or kill myself. But no sweetheart. I mean it- A FEW PIECES OF DISSATISFACTION ARE GOOD FOR LIFE. FOR THEY KEEP YOU WORKING… WORKING HARD! DISSATISFACTION BREEDS PERFECTION!
So dear Listener, yes I am dissatisfied but I enjoy being one!!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Suicide... really difficult hai re.....!!
With the heading... it's pretty clear that my long awaited blog's heroine is SUICIDE today...! (bhale hi aap wait nahi kar rahe hain mere blog ka- phir bhi jhooth bol deejiye k- u were waiting for my blog... mujhe achcha lagega.. )
Actually, a listener called up in the morning weeping hard. She said, "Did you see a child committed suicide..?? look at his Mom.." Urgently, I should have rather consoled her saying.. "dear don't cry.. How will the child's spirit in the heaven react.??" But I didn't say so. Reason being, that should have been a drama. I mean, jiska marta hai, wahi rota hai.. we might feel the pain... but we DON'T FEEL THE REAL PAIN. Though, I try hard to motivate the students.. but I know.. RJs ke kehne se kuchh nahi rukta hai.. (A hard reality.. but face it..!)
Anyways, not to deviate from the trigger, SUICIDE is something that we read about too much. Tear shedding mothers, erudite psychologists, writing media-men.. and above everything AN EMPTY FEELING... NOTHING CAN FILL IN THE SPACE. But who cares.. at least jo suicide karte hain... unhe to shayad kisi ki koi fiqr hoti hi nahi.. hoti... to karte hi kyon...?? In fact, all of us are quite filmy too.I remember, one of the incidences when even I thought of committing a suicide. So here I narrate,
When I read in standard 3, it was the time for Annual Exams. My sister taught/ prepared me for the Maths Exam- n that too in such a way that I should have scored 100/100. But somehow, I missed the mark, and after all scrutinies (matching answers) it was declared that I shall not get more than 93. Seven marks/...?? OMG.. My sister was enraged.. she scolded me saying," I spent the whole night after you... and you have spoilt all my aspirations. Now that your percentage shan't be as high... what do you wish to do..??" I cried hard. Not because I hadn't performed well, or I should have improved. But because my sister scolded me. It was a feeling like, "They don't know what I am, how hard have I worked, N now- I'LL SAY A BYE TO THIS WORLD, SO THAT THEY KNOW- WHAT IS MY VALUE...ONCE I GO, THEY WILL KNOW WHAT HAVE THEY LOST.." In simple language, thanks to the bollywood sequences, I had actually decided to commit a suicide.... WOW!! CLASS THREE- AND MY FIRST ATTEMPT TO DIE.!!
So for now, the question was- how to die??. And to remind myself properly, environment at my place was quite non-suicide friendly. A broader description:
1. RAT KILLER: Even Choohe maarne ki dawa (like mortien) was prohibited at my home. Kya pata bachche galti se kha lein to...?? But whom to say.. galti se nahi... hum to jaan kar ke marna chahte hain..! huh!
2. VEGETABLE KNIFE/ BLADE: My personal television experience said, damaging the hand nerves was also an apt option to try committing suicide. But blade kahan se laayein... my papa was so tall that he kept his shaving at such a high position- that I should have rather grown 12 more years to reach the same position without a stool. Aur agar stool lao, to... pehle batao... WHY DO YOU NEED THAT BLADE. And for the knife, usse sabzi na kate gardan to door ki baat hai! huh!
3. ROAD ACCIDENT: Being a literate at that moment I was well aware of the news pieces in the akhbaar. "SADAK HAADSE MEIN 2 KI MAUT.." So I thought," gud to die with a bus/ truck ka tyre" But babu.. when I gave the same a nazdeeq waala look.. I realized, " Oh no!! isse to haddi pasli toot jaayegi.. Dard hoga...!! idea dropped!" huh!!
4. CYANIDE: My sis was a bio student, and I remember, she told, " we find Cyanide in the laboratories- bas ek baar tongue par daalo aur kaam khatm.. ! na dard an tension! kaam khatm...wow! Par billi ke gale mein ghanti baandhega kaun?? I mean CYANIDE LAAYEGA KAUN?? If sis se kaha... to suicide kaise hogi?? Surprize to khatm ho jaayega.." so again idea dropped huh!!
5. FALLING FROM A HEIGHT: This was another bright option in front of me. Reason being- mera ghar bhi bahut ooncha hai.. So I climbed up the chhajja the highest point of my home. ( I gave the excuse- main chugga daalne jaa rahi hoon..). But as I looked down.. OMG!! itni height??? mar gaye... even Everest should have fallen short (usse koodna thode hi tha...)PAPA RE AGAR KOOD GAYI AUR HADDI PASLI TOOT GAYI...DARD HOGA.. PHIR BHI BACH GAYI..TO GHAR WALE MAAR DAALENGE!! So... again idea dropped..huh!!
6. HANGING FROM THE CEILING: My height again- re-ditched me. Fan tak chhodo papa ke kandhe tak nahi aati main. Bless Rajpal Yadav- even he cannot commit suicide with this method. So idea re-dropped. huh!
7. ELECTRIC SHOCK: I tell you even this is quite difficult. Shaktiman ne mana kiya tha switches ko haath lagane ke liye: So idea dropped huh!
8. DHATOORE KE BEEJ: Ya you read it right,'dhatoore ke beej'.. My sis- those days made a herbarium fle (biology) She was asked to paste specimen plants. And she once told, "dhatoore ke beej khaane se mar jaate hain.." So obviously I searched for her herbarium file... aakhir kahin to suicide karne ke upkaran to milein..!!
AND DEAR READER, THIS IS WHERE MY SIS GAUGED IT ALL. SHE INQUIRED, AND NOW KNEW OF MY EXCLUSIVE SUICIDE IDEAS.!! As usual, my sis specialized in emotional blackmailing, so she talked to me and finally within half an hour of all my suicide efforts -she convinced me- KE BETA ACHCHE BACHCHE SUICIDE ATTEMPT NAHI KARTE... BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS MISS YOU... YOU ARE SO SPECIAL THAT YOU ARE NEEDED IN THIS WORLD!! so..suicide nahi karte.
And bless my obedience, aaj tak zinda hoon main...
Actually, a listener called up in the morning weeping hard. She said, "Did you see a child committed suicide..?? look at his Mom.." Urgently, I should have rather consoled her saying.. "dear don't cry.. How will the child's spirit in the heaven react.??" But I didn't say so. Reason being, that should have been a drama. I mean, jiska marta hai, wahi rota hai.. we might feel the pain... but we DON'T FEEL THE REAL PAIN. Though, I try hard to motivate the students.. but I know.. RJs ke kehne se kuchh nahi rukta hai.. (A hard reality.. but face it..!)
Anyways, not to deviate from the trigger, SUICIDE is something that we read about too much. Tear shedding mothers, erudite psychologists, writing media-men.. and above everything AN EMPTY FEELING... NOTHING CAN FILL IN THE SPACE. But who cares.. at least jo suicide karte hain... unhe to shayad kisi ki koi fiqr hoti hi nahi.. hoti... to karte hi kyon...?? In fact, all of us are quite filmy too.I remember, one of the incidences when even I thought of committing a suicide. So here I narrate,
When I read in standard 3, it was the time for Annual Exams. My sister taught/ prepared me for the Maths Exam- n that too in such a way that I should have scored 100/100. But somehow, I missed the mark, and after all scrutinies (matching answers) it was declared that I shall not get more than 93. Seven marks/...?? OMG.. My sister was enraged.. she scolded me saying," I spent the whole night after you... and you have spoilt all my aspirations. Now that your percentage shan't be as high... what do you wish to do..??" I cried hard. Not because I hadn't performed well, or I should have improved. But because my sister scolded me. It was a feeling like, "They don't know what I am, how hard have I worked, N now- I'LL SAY A BYE TO THIS WORLD, SO THAT THEY KNOW- WHAT IS MY VALUE...ONCE I GO, THEY WILL KNOW WHAT HAVE THEY LOST.." In simple language, thanks to the bollywood sequences, I had actually decided to commit a suicide.... WOW!! CLASS THREE- AND MY FIRST ATTEMPT TO DIE.!!
So for now, the question was- how to die??. And to remind myself properly, environment at my place was quite non-suicide friendly. A broader description:
1. RAT KILLER: Even Choohe maarne ki dawa (like mortien) was prohibited at my home. Kya pata bachche galti se kha lein to...?? But whom to say.. galti se nahi... hum to jaan kar ke marna chahte hain..! huh!
2. VEGETABLE KNIFE/ BLADE: My personal television experience said, damaging the hand nerves was also an apt option to try committing suicide. But blade kahan se laayein... my papa was so tall that he kept his shaving at such a high position- that I should have rather grown 12 more years to reach the same position without a stool. Aur agar stool lao, to... pehle batao... WHY DO YOU NEED THAT BLADE. And for the knife, usse sabzi na kate gardan to door ki baat hai! huh!
3. ROAD ACCIDENT: Being a literate at that moment I was well aware of the news pieces in the akhbaar. "SADAK HAADSE MEIN 2 KI MAUT.." So I thought," gud to die with a bus/ truck ka tyre" But babu.. when I gave the same a nazdeeq waala look.. I realized, " Oh no!! isse to haddi pasli toot jaayegi.. Dard hoga...!! idea dropped!" huh!!
4. CYANIDE: My sis was a bio student, and I remember, she told, " we find Cyanide in the laboratories- bas ek baar tongue par daalo aur kaam khatm.. ! na dard an tension! kaam khatm...wow! Par billi ke gale mein ghanti baandhega kaun?? I mean CYANIDE LAAYEGA KAUN?? If sis se kaha... to suicide kaise hogi?? Surprize to khatm ho jaayega.." so again idea dropped huh!!
5. FALLING FROM A HEIGHT: This was another bright option in front of me. Reason being- mera ghar bhi bahut ooncha hai.. So I climbed up the chhajja the highest point of my home. ( I gave the excuse- main chugga daalne jaa rahi hoon..). But as I looked down.. OMG!! itni height??? mar gaye... even Everest should have fallen short (usse koodna thode hi tha...)PAPA RE AGAR KOOD GAYI AUR HADDI PASLI TOOT GAYI...DARD HOGA.. PHIR BHI BACH GAYI..TO GHAR WALE MAAR DAALENGE!! So... again idea dropped..huh!!
6. HANGING FROM THE CEILING: My height again- re-ditched me. Fan tak chhodo papa ke kandhe tak nahi aati main. Bless Rajpal Yadav- even he cannot commit suicide with this method. So idea re-dropped. huh!
7. ELECTRIC SHOCK: I tell you even this is quite difficult. Shaktiman ne mana kiya tha switches ko haath lagane ke liye: So idea dropped huh!
8. DHATOORE KE BEEJ: Ya you read it right,'dhatoore ke beej'.. My sis- those days made a herbarium fle (biology) She was asked to paste specimen plants. And she once told, "dhatoore ke beej khaane se mar jaate hain.." So obviously I searched for her herbarium file... aakhir kahin to suicide karne ke upkaran to milein..!!
AND DEAR READER, THIS IS WHERE MY SIS GAUGED IT ALL. SHE INQUIRED, AND NOW KNEW OF MY EXCLUSIVE SUICIDE IDEAS.!! As usual, my sis specialized in emotional blackmailing, so she talked to me and finally within half an hour of all my suicide efforts -she convinced me- KE BETA ACHCHE BACHCHE SUICIDE ATTEMPT NAHI KARTE... BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS MISS YOU... YOU ARE SO SPECIAL THAT YOU ARE NEEDED IN THIS WORLD!! so..suicide nahi karte.
And bless my obedience, aaj tak zinda hoon main...
Monday, September 5, 2011
A letter to my teacher....!
Respected Ma'am,
It is 5th September today- and I know- We celebrate this day as YOUR DAY- THE TEACHER'S DAY- The day when I turned a student and you became a teacher!
Her you must be thinking- "What's new dear child??" I know nothing's new.. but something's better than new. I mean, today when I have completed 9 years of my study under you- there should be some confessions, some heart opening expressions... through which you may understand- how important you are.. how classic you are... how close you are.
So ma'am, years ago, when my parents told, "इसे स्कूल में admission दिलवाना है..." I never knew that I'll meet you...! My greatest pleasures were my school bag and box, while choosing an ice cream flavor was also an assignment. But when I met you- I met the world beyond Home."मम्मा का बिंदी, वहां से पापा का घर, फिर मम्मा का घर...बन गया 'उ'." Even 'A for apple' and 'sharing is a good habit' are the facts, that you fed in me. You made me learn what life is!
When grown up a little- I remember, you taught me ADDITION/SUBTRACTION/SPELLS/वाक्य प्रयोग AND WHAT NOT!.I remember if you told, "घर जाकर मम्मा से कहना है..SEND NAPKIN". Then the repetition the whole day was, "Ma'am ने कहा है...send napkin" And finally, Mamma had to say "हा.. तुम तो तुम्हारी Ma'am की ही सुनो..". And best of all.. you know what Ma'am- The only game that I played in my childhood was- TEACHER TEACHER. Old books in one hand and non working pen in the other- and fighting for the role of the Teacher- is something that I'll never forget!
I remember- once you slapped me in front of the whole class. I was embarrassed and hurt- and afraid too. But the next time when I improved on the same matter- It was you who appreciated me front of the whole class saying "LOOK AT THIS GIRL-I SCOLDED HER - BUT NOW- HOW NICELY HAS SHE DONE HER TASK. GOOD CHILD! KEEP IT UP!" I knew, this was almost like winning an oscar!
Ma'am, once I saw you in a party- I remember with greatest fear, I came to you saying " Good afternoon Ma'am!" and more than smiles, you talked so informally!! You are so good Ma'am.
But Ma'am, I still have some requests to make, and that is- Ma'am please don't compare me with my other classmates. I know some of us are really talented but others might not be the same. Your confidence in us makes the subject so beautiful. If you tell me- "CHILD YOU CAN DO IT!" I actually feel that I can. I mean it Ma'am- you taught me how to live- please keep the same in continuation. Ma'am YOU ARE THE BEST! PLEASE LEND ONLY 1% OF YOUR THOUGHTS. I'LL BE OBLIGED!
I DON'T KNOW- WHAT NEXT TO SAY... simply i love you ma'am!
HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY MA'AM!!
Your lovable child
saavi
It is 5th September today- and I know- We celebrate this day as YOUR DAY- THE TEACHER'S DAY- The day when I turned a student and you became a teacher!
Her you must be thinking- "What's new dear child??" I know nothing's new.. but something's better than new. I mean, today when I have completed 9 years of my study under you- there should be some confessions, some heart opening expressions... through which you may understand- how important you are.. how classic you are... how close you are.
So ma'am, years ago, when my parents told, "इसे स्कूल में admission दिलवाना है..." I never knew that I'll meet you...! My greatest pleasures were my school bag and box, while choosing an ice cream flavor was also an assignment. But when I met you- I met the world beyond Home."मम्मा का बिंदी, वहां से पापा का घर, फिर मम्मा का घर...बन गया 'उ'." Even 'A for apple' and 'sharing is a good habit' are the facts, that you fed in me. You made me learn what life is!
When grown up a little- I remember, you taught me ADDITION/SUBTRACTION/SPELLS/वाक्य प्रयोग AND WHAT NOT!.I remember if you told, "घर जाकर मम्मा से कहना है..SEND NAPKIN". Then the repetition the whole day was, "Ma'am ने कहा है...send napkin" And finally, Mamma had to say "हा.. तुम तो तुम्हारी Ma'am की ही सुनो..". And best of all.. you know what Ma'am- The only game that I played in my childhood was- TEACHER TEACHER. Old books in one hand and non working pen in the other- and fighting for the role of the Teacher- is something that I'll never forget!
I remember- once you slapped me in front of the whole class. I was embarrassed and hurt- and afraid too. But the next time when I improved on the same matter- It was you who appreciated me front of the whole class saying "LOOK AT THIS GIRL-I SCOLDED HER - BUT NOW- HOW NICELY HAS SHE DONE HER TASK. GOOD CHILD! KEEP IT UP!" I knew, this was almost like winning an oscar!
Ma'am, once I saw you in a party- I remember with greatest fear, I came to you saying " Good afternoon Ma'am!" and more than smiles, you talked so informally!! You are so good Ma'am.
But Ma'am, I still have some requests to make, and that is- Ma'am please don't compare me with my other classmates. I know some of us are really talented but others might not be the same. Your confidence in us makes the subject so beautiful. If you tell me- "CHILD YOU CAN DO IT!" I actually feel that I can. I mean it Ma'am- you taught me how to live- please keep the same in continuation. Ma'am YOU ARE THE BEST! PLEASE LEND ONLY 1% OF YOUR THOUGHTS. I'LL BE OBLIGED!
I DON'T KNOW- WHAT NEXT TO SAY... simply i love you ma'am!
HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY MA'AM!!
Your lovable child
saavi
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Lammmmmmmbi si gaddi...!
It's raining cats n dogs... and i'm loving it...(why??? arey... mein likh bhi to rahi hoon na... aise bhi mere blogs aajkal baarish ki tarah hi aa rahe hain... 'BIN-MAUSAM'..omg!!)
Anyways, returning to blogs is something that I love...(love like salman khan's look in bodyguard) and yes... ab... bhoomika band... pakaana shuru...!
So, it was a few days ago when one of my facebook friends posted on his wall about his NEW BRAND INDIGO (gaddi hai gaddi..). And ooparwaala jhooth na bulwaaye... before I could like it... a sort of happily jealous feeling that surrounded me!! (imagine baadal). And if you wish to ask me what is this... happily jealous feeling ??? Then dear reader, it means... main aadhi khush thi.. n aadhi jealous bhi.. Khush issliye because the friend had purchased a gaddi and dukhi+jealous issliye because only a friend had purchased one... matlab.. gaddi sirf wo kyon khareede??? main kyo nahi...???
It's something like... Saavi ... dhikkar hai tere RJ hone par; wo to ek faculty hokar bhi lammmmbi si gaddi khareed chuka... aur tu... ek RJ hokar bhi pitaji ki gaddi mein ghoomti hai... Saavi kahan hai tera zameer??? Agar so gaya hai to usspar paani daal, jaga use... khareed bhi le ek Lammmmmmmmbi si gaddi apne liye... papa ke paas do-do 4 wheelers hain... to kya hua.. hai to papa ki hi... grow up Saavi Grow up...!
So yes... I have grown up... grown up to buy a Lammmmmmmbi si gaddi for myself... Yes! (aaj hi book karwaaiye... offer seemit samay ke liye....!)
PAR AGAR MAINE GADDI KHAREED BHI LI... TO HOGA KYA??? MEANS KE... MAIN GADDI KA KAROONGI KYA??/ Here I think... you must be thinking... "Saavi Beta, gaddi ghoomne ke liye hoti hai...ghoom hi lena.. udaana mat.." Even I know... but problem is... ke in lambi gaddis I face a problem... In fact, if I narrate the same problem to you you will probably think.. Kya Saavi... ye kya tareeka hua... how so low!! To express it better...
15-20 लाख तक की AC वाली गाडी में भी.. my head rolls.. I feel giddy and uncomfortable.. In fact, whenever I sit back in a lammmmmbi si gaddi... I don't enjoy it hard... Isse much much better to Bike hai... (backseater...you see.. chalaaye koi aur , n you ennnnjoy) But I mean it,... agr aisa hi chlta raha...to ऐसी ऐशो आराम वाली आदतों के बिना...नखरो के बिना...how will I turn eligible to be 'अमीर'...??? :P I mean.. log to sochenge... "HOW SO DOWN MARKET..!" OMG!!
And you know what??? I personally feel it...kai baar bike is a favorable option.. like
1. Galiyo se aise nikal jaati hai jaise kareena ki kamar... It's best suited for 'Nainva', 'Itaava' ki streets.. Koi mamma ka laal sab wahan BMW ghusa ke to dikhaaye.. BMW agar nainva ke liye banegi to sirf B hi reh jaayegi (BMW-MW=B.. Sahi hai na...ha... meri maths achchi hai..!! :P) (now don't ask me... ye nainva/itava kya hai... offcourse places hain)
2.Natural hawa ka strotr hai ye... just sit back on bike..n you realize without any fan or Air conditioner you feel like Miss Hawa Hawaaai! OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhh (jhonka hawa ka...)
3. The ultimate feeling of a 'heroine'(not kareena, sweethrt....!) comes when you are on your bike... ab waddi si gaddi ke AC main kabhi baal udte hain bhala??? (ye reshmi zulfien ghata si lagti hain...wah wah!)
4. Ek bike ki keemat tum kya jaano Rames babu... 50 hazaar se 1 lakh ke beech mein aa hi jaati hai... usme bhi itni suvidhaayein.. 2 lakh se 2-5 crore ki car se to behtar hi hai.. you see economical!
5. It promotes small families.. infact the government of India can implement as an effective means of population control... it's something like... a two wheeler and U ME AUR HUMARA BABY... ha bada ho jaaye to 4 wheeler le lena.. but you know what these days kids ask for their personal vehicles soon... (humara papa kaisa ho.. gaddi gift karne waala ho..!)
6. Imagine (not NDTV Guys!)- if Roadies was constructed with cars..or BMWs.. the guys would have watched BMWs rather than girls... Or they might be found getting cozier........you know..and ofcourse the contestants should be found voting for the Bmws.. AND IMAGINE.. WHO WON ROADIES 9..??? IT'S A BMW! (CLAPS/^\ CLAPS)
7. It makes you feel the reality.. the nature.. whether it be pelting rains, sadak ke beech ke drains, ditches or be it pollution.. reality to yahi hai... it doesn't make you live a fake life...you live the reality! (ooooo whatta imosanal punch.. good wrk saavi good!)
8. Mujhpar ek ehsaan karna.. ki mujhpar koi ehsaan na karna... I tell you sallu babu.. Bike actually saves you from any ehsaans.. I mean to say ke.. the possibility of taking or giving lift is diminished!!... so sallu babu.. khush to bahut hoge tum??
9. Practically, as and when you take a car.. it takes more time to take it out of garage/ home...gamle hatao... aur kucch ho to bhi take care.. it's almost like.. you need 1(+1)persons for handling a car.. (oye back mat le back... peeche gaay hai gaay... omg!!)
10. If an accident occurs, it's sure.. the parts of cars are harder to find... bike ke to shooker-wooker, seat cover etc etc. to sound bhi easy karte hain... than steering! dashboard grill! injection molds! papa re...!!
11. 'Bike with scooty... making couples' is something you can do.. than in car.. wahan to car par bhi car...(koi achcha lagta hai??/)
Vaise, Dear Reader... by this time (because i think I have already cooked you so hard!) I expect you have actually realized my liking for bikes or you might say..that I have possibly given allllll reasons ke...... main abhi bhi lammbi si gaddi nahi khareed rahi..!! hehehe...
But yes, there's one thing that I'll miss and that is... That ameero types feeling and expression that to give to others... (In a BMW you actually look at others like.. bike par ho... tanik lajja nahi aati tumhe..ISS CHHOTI SI GADDI PAR... KBC KHEL LETE...KUCHCH TO STANDARD BADHEGA!)
N for right now.. bye.. !
Anyways, returning to blogs is something that I love...(love like salman khan's look in bodyguard) and yes... ab... bhoomika band... pakaana shuru...!
So, it was a few days ago when one of my facebook friends posted on his wall about his NEW BRAND INDIGO (gaddi hai gaddi..). And ooparwaala jhooth na bulwaaye... before I could like it... a sort of happily jealous feeling that surrounded me!! (imagine baadal). And if you wish to ask me what is this... happily jealous feeling ??? Then dear reader, it means... main aadhi khush thi.. n aadhi jealous bhi.. Khush issliye because the friend had purchased a gaddi and dukhi+jealous issliye because only a friend had purchased one... matlab.. gaddi sirf wo kyon khareede??? main kyo nahi...???
It's something like... Saavi ... dhikkar hai tere RJ hone par; wo to ek faculty hokar bhi lammmmbi si gaddi khareed chuka... aur tu... ek RJ hokar bhi pitaji ki gaddi mein ghoomti hai... Saavi kahan hai tera zameer??? Agar so gaya hai to usspar paani daal, jaga use... khareed bhi le ek Lammmmmmmmbi si gaddi apne liye... papa ke paas do-do 4 wheelers hain... to kya hua.. hai to papa ki hi... grow up Saavi Grow up...!
So yes... I have grown up... grown up to buy a Lammmmmmmbi si gaddi for myself... Yes! (aaj hi book karwaaiye... offer seemit samay ke liye....!)
PAR AGAR MAINE GADDI KHAREED BHI LI... TO HOGA KYA??? MEANS KE... MAIN GADDI KA KAROONGI KYA??/ Here I think... you must be thinking... "Saavi Beta, gaddi ghoomne ke liye hoti hai...ghoom hi lena.. udaana mat.." Even I know... but problem is... ke in lambi gaddis I face a problem... In fact, if I narrate the same problem to you you will probably think.. Kya Saavi... ye kya tareeka hua... how so low!! To express it better...
15-20 लाख तक की AC वाली गाडी में भी.. my head rolls.. I feel giddy and uncomfortable.. In fact, whenever I sit back in a lammmmmbi si gaddi... I don't enjoy it hard... Isse much much better to Bike hai... (backseater...you see.. chalaaye koi aur , n you ennnnjoy) But I mean it,... agr aisa hi chlta raha...to ऐसी ऐशो आराम वाली आदतों के बिना...नखरो के बिना...how will I turn eligible to be 'अमीर'...??? :P I mean.. log to sochenge... "HOW SO DOWN MARKET..!" OMG!!
And you know what??? I personally feel it...kai baar bike is a favorable option.. like
1. Galiyo se aise nikal jaati hai jaise kareena ki kamar... It's best suited for 'Nainva', 'Itaava' ki streets.. Koi mamma ka laal sab wahan BMW ghusa ke to dikhaaye.. BMW agar nainva ke liye banegi to sirf B hi reh jaayegi (BMW-MW=B.. Sahi hai na...ha... meri maths achchi hai..!! :P) (now don't ask me... ye nainva/itava kya hai... offcourse places hain)
2.Natural hawa ka strotr hai ye... just sit back on bike..n you realize without any fan or Air conditioner you feel like Miss Hawa Hawaaai! OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhh (jhonka hawa ka...)
3. The ultimate feeling of a 'heroine'(not kareena, sweethrt....!) comes when you are on your bike... ab waddi si gaddi ke AC main kabhi baal udte hain bhala??? (ye reshmi zulfien ghata si lagti hain...wah wah!)
4. Ek bike ki keemat tum kya jaano Rames babu... 50 hazaar se 1 lakh ke beech mein aa hi jaati hai... usme bhi itni suvidhaayein.. 2 lakh se 2-5 crore ki car se to behtar hi hai.. you see economical!
5. It promotes small families.. infact the government of India can implement as an effective means of population control... it's something like... a two wheeler and U ME AUR HUMARA BABY... ha bada ho jaaye to 4 wheeler le lena.. but you know what these days kids ask for their personal vehicles soon... (humara papa kaisa ho.. gaddi gift karne waala ho..!)
6. Imagine (not NDTV Guys!)- if Roadies was constructed with cars..or BMWs.. the guys would have watched BMWs rather than girls... Or they might be found getting cozier........you know..and ofcourse the contestants should be found voting for the Bmws.. AND IMAGINE.. WHO WON ROADIES 9..??? IT'S A BMW! (CLAPS/^\ CLAPS)
7. It makes you feel the reality.. the nature.. whether it be pelting rains, sadak ke beech ke drains, ditches or be it pollution.. reality to yahi hai... it doesn't make you live a fake life...you live the reality! (ooooo whatta imosanal punch.. good wrk saavi good!)
8. Mujhpar ek ehsaan karna.. ki mujhpar koi ehsaan na karna... I tell you sallu babu.. Bike actually saves you from any ehsaans.. I mean to say ke.. the possibility of taking or giving lift is diminished!!... so sallu babu.. khush to bahut hoge tum??
9. Practically, as and when you take a car.. it takes more time to take it out of garage/ home...gamle hatao... aur kucch ho to bhi take care.. it's almost like.. you need 1(+1)persons for handling a car.. (oye back mat le back... peeche gaay hai gaay... omg!!)
10. If an accident occurs, it's sure.. the parts of cars are harder to find... bike ke to shooker-wooker, seat cover etc etc. to sound bhi easy karte hain... than steering! dashboard grill! injection molds! papa re...!!
11. 'Bike with scooty... making couples' is something you can do.. than in car.. wahan to car par bhi car...(koi achcha lagta hai??/)
Vaise, Dear Reader... by this time (because i think I have already cooked you so hard!) I expect you have actually realized my liking for bikes or you might say..that I have possibly given allllll reasons ke...... main abhi bhi lammbi si gaddi nahi khareed rahi..!! hehehe...
But yes, there's one thing that I'll miss and that is... That ameero types feeling and expression that to give to others... (In a BMW you actually look at others like.. bike par ho... tanik lajja nahi aati tumhe..ISS CHHOTI SI GADDI PAR... KBC KHEL LETE...KUCHCH TO STANDARD BADHEGA!)
N for right now.. bye.. !
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Talking to a Smoker...!!
"Naaraaz to Maharaj hote hain..." That's what the hero of my blog (today) says. Hohohoho (don't worry... you don't have to laugh, ye hansna meri side se tha...).
Now before I begin, I must readmit- blogging for me is Aishwarya Rai.. you like her always- But only if her movie is in da market, you got to see her... No PREVIOUSLY PERMITTED APPOINTMENTS you see. So dear reader, I am back... not with a bang.. but with a smoke..(Imagine fumes...!) And ya, if you didn't get this punch.. let's restart.
9th of March was NO SMOKING DAY. No Smoking bole to... cigarette, beedi aadi se aapko itni doori maintain karni hai.. jitni biwi ke saamne girlfriend se..heheh. Now by God's grace and even by Papa's furious face- I don't smoke. So the blog is not about me. It is about a smoker.
Actually, I had to celebrate the day on air- but somehow wasn't able to. Why? is a different reason. But yes, taiyyaari zaroor ki thi. So, jo taiyaari on air nahi gayi... use aap jhelo!!
It was paune 12 in the afternoon, when I asked one of my colleagues- "Sir aap smoke karte hain to kaisa lagta hai??"
Sir (confused): Kaisa kya Saavi... theek lagta hai.. par mujhe cigarette peeni nahi aati...
Me: Cigarette peeni nahi aati..?? Ye kaise hota hai??
Sir: Matlab... main peeta to hoo.. par mein dhuen ko andar nahi rakhta jaise smokers rakhte hain... sirf phhhoooooooo kar deta hoon..
I smiled at this one(iske alawa koi choice bhi nahi thi..)
Meanwhile, my onlyfemale colleague suggested.. talk to 'V'.. He might tell you better. (V.. is our 'smoker'.. so sorry uska naam nahi loongi... use bura lagega)
So I turned to V.
ME: V... how do you feel जब तुम smoke करते हो तो...?
V: आनंद... परम आनंद..
ME (surprised): You mean...संस्कार channel की भागवत कथा सुनो.. या smoke करो.. one and the same thing..??
V: नह्हीं .. पर मैडम.. आप क्या जानो ये कैसा होता है...
ME: Thanks... मुझे नहीं पता...don't wanna know it either... वैसे V...Are you a chain smoker??
V(with a killing expression): नह्ह्हीं... chain smokers to तो घंटे में 1-2.. और पूरे दिन में 20 - 25 cigarettes तो फूँक ही लेते हैं..
ME: OK... you take 10???
V : yaarrr.. 4-5 are done... (you must have seen V's expression.. he looked as if... feeling so light...जैसे बाब रामदेव की योग क्लास ज्वाइन करके आया ह... और कह रहा हो...20-25 के सामने आखिर 4-5 है ही कितना...? वाह..)
ME:So... you like it..!
He replied nothing.
V:वैसे मेरा मानना तो ये है की.. आप दुनिया में नशा कोई भी करो.. precaution ज़रूर लो. Drink हो चाहे smoke इतना हो की बॉडी को नुक्सान ना पंहुचाये. जो में करता हूँ ना... वो लोग नहीं करते.. में बॉडी का ध्यान रखता हूँ.. (seriously.. iss waqt mujhe laga V mujhe 2nd class ki bachchi samajhta hai... Saavi kya jaane.. ye aakhir hota kaisa hai..)
में क्या.. शौक के लिए भी स्टार्ट नहीं किया.. जैसे 80% boys करते है,,, शौक शौक में स्टार्ट कर लेते हैं.. पर अपन ने ऐसा नहीं किया..
ME: तो तुमने स्टार्ट क्यों किया..??
V: mmmmmmmmm वो आपको नहीं बता सकता...
ME: अच्छा में तुम्हे ऑन एयर (radio par) लेना पसंद करती...
V: पर मैं अच्छा नहीं बोलता...
ME: कोई बात नहीं.. मुझे 'V' से नहीं.. एक SMOKER से बात करनी थी...
V (with a killer look): Yaarr... SMOKER तो ऐसे कह रही हो जैसे मैंने कोई चोरी कर ली हो...ऐसे तो मेरी मम्मा ने भी कभी नहीं कहा...
ME: वो मम्मा है ना इसीलिए..
V: पर अपन भी ध्यान रखते हैं... मम्मी पापा के सामने कभी नहीं आये..
ME: So your mamma doesn't know...???
V (proudly): नहीं.. जानती हैं.. पर कभी सामने नहीं आया.. भले ही दुनिया के किसी भी कोने में जाना पड़े.. पर उनके सामने नहीं... (yahan to over proud ho gaya tha.. kis baat par donno..)
ME: मतलब... मम्मा से छिपाने के लिए... कोनो में चले जायेंगे... पर उसी मम्मा से permanently छिपाने के लिए smoking छोडेंगे नहीं...
V: आप तो embarrass कर रहे हो..
ME: Vaise.. Is it correct...दुःख दर्द भुलाने के लिए.. smoke करते हैं...
V: नह्ही नही... वो तो थक जाते हैं ना...
ME: oooooooooo.. मम्मा के चेहरे को देखने से थकान नहीं जाती... पर smoke करने से थकान चली जाती है...
V: वैसे Saavi... आपको एक बात बताता हूँ... ये सब छूट जाता है...
ME(wondering): अच्छा ...?
V: हा..मेरे आस पास वाले... मेरे जानकार कई साल पहले smoke,drink करते थे... पर...20-25 सालो से touch भी नहीं किया है..
ME (still wondering): ऐसे ही छूट जाएगा...??
V (explaining): मतलब ,... ऐसा होता है..(He looked blank)
ME: oooo तो खुद नहीं छोडेंगे.. पर खुद से छूट जाएगा...?? अच्छा how did your mamma react...जब उन्हें पहली बार पता लगा कि you had smoked...???
V: आप तो embarrass कर रहे हो.....
(i re-smiled sternly).
V: (questioning): कैसे react करेंगी ???
ME: मुझे क्या पता??? I'm not a mamma...
V: Obviously डांटती हैं...
Meanwhile, V was interrupted by a call. Our conversation sort of ended. Par sawal ab bhi hai mere paas..
"क्या SMOKE करना आपकी मम्मा कि ख़ुशी से ज्यादा है??"
Now before I begin, I must readmit- blogging for me is Aishwarya Rai.. you like her always- But only if her movie is in da market, you got to see her... No PREVIOUSLY PERMITTED APPOINTMENTS you see. So dear reader, I am back... not with a bang.. but with a smoke..(Imagine fumes...!) And ya, if you didn't get this punch.. let's restart.
9th of March was NO SMOKING DAY. No Smoking bole to... cigarette, beedi aadi se aapko itni doori maintain karni hai.. jitni biwi ke saamne girlfriend se..heheh. Now by God's grace and even by Papa's furious face- I don't smoke. So the blog is not about me. It is about a smoker.
Actually, I had to celebrate the day on air- but somehow wasn't able to. Why? is a different reason. But yes, taiyyaari zaroor ki thi. So, jo taiyaari on air nahi gayi... use aap jhelo!!
It was paune 12 in the afternoon, when I asked one of my colleagues- "Sir aap smoke karte hain to kaisa lagta hai??"
Sir (confused): Kaisa kya Saavi... theek lagta hai.. par mujhe cigarette peeni nahi aati...
Me: Cigarette peeni nahi aati..?? Ye kaise hota hai??
Sir: Matlab... main peeta to hoo.. par mein dhuen ko andar nahi rakhta jaise smokers rakhte hain... sirf phhhoooooooo kar deta hoon..
I smiled at this one(iske alawa koi choice bhi nahi thi..)
Meanwhile, my onlyfemale colleague suggested.. talk to 'V'.. He might tell you better. (V.. is our 'smoker'.. so sorry uska naam nahi loongi... use bura lagega)
So I turned to V.
ME: V... how do you feel जब तुम smoke करते हो तो...?
V: आनंद... परम आनंद..
ME (surprised): You mean...संस्कार channel की भागवत कथा सुनो.. या smoke करो.. one and the same thing..??
V: नह्हीं .. पर मैडम.. आप क्या जानो ये कैसा होता है...
ME: Thanks... मुझे नहीं पता...don't wanna know it either... वैसे V...Are you a chain smoker??
V(with a killing expression): नह्ह्हीं... chain smokers to तो घंटे में 1-2.. और पूरे दिन में 20 - 25 cigarettes तो फूँक ही लेते हैं..
ME: OK... you take 10???
V : yaarrr.. 4-5 are done... (you must have seen V's expression.. he looked as if... feeling so light...जैसे बाब रामदेव की योग क्लास ज्वाइन करके आया ह... और कह रहा हो...20-25 के सामने आखिर 4-5 है ही कितना...? वाह..)
ME:So... you like it..!
He replied nothing.
V:वैसे मेरा मानना तो ये है की.. आप दुनिया में नशा कोई भी करो.. precaution ज़रूर लो. Drink हो चाहे smoke इतना हो की बॉडी को नुक्सान ना पंहुचाये. जो में करता हूँ ना... वो लोग नहीं करते.. में बॉडी का ध्यान रखता हूँ.. (seriously.. iss waqt mujhe laga V mujhe 2nd class ki bachchi samajhta hai... Saavi kya jaane.. ye aakhir hota kaisa hai..)
में क्या.. शौक के लिए भी स्टार्ट नहीं किया.. जैसे 80% boys करते है,,, शौक शौक में स्टार्ट कर लेते हैं.. पर अपन ने ऐसा नहीं किया..
ME: तो तुमने स्टार्ट क्यों किया..??
V: mmmmmmmmm वो आपको नहीं बता सकता...
ME: अच्छा में तुम्हे ऑन एयर (radio par) लेना पसंद करती...
V: पर मैं अच्छा नहीं बोलता...
ME: कोई बात नहीं.. मुझे 'V' से नहीं.. एक SMOKER से बात करनी थी...
V (with a killer look): Yaarr... SMOKER तो ऐसे कह रही हो जैसे मैंने कोई चोरी कर ली हो...ऐसे तो मेरी मम्मा ने भी कभी नहीं कहा...
ME: वो मम्मा है ना इसीलिए..
V: पर अपन भी ध्यान रखते हैं... मम्मी पापा के सामने कभी नहीं आये..
ME: So your mamma doesn't know...???
V (proudly): नहीं.. जानती हैं.. पर कभी सामने नहीं आया.. भले ही दुनिया के किसी भी कोने में जाना पड़े.. पर उनके सामने नहीं... (yahan to over proud ho gaya tha.. kis baat par donno..)
ME: मतलब... मम्मा से छिपाने के लिए... कोनो में चले जायेंगे... पर उसी मम्मा से permanently छिपाने के लिए smoking छोडेंगे नहीं...
V: आप तो embarrass कर रहे हो..
ME: Vaise.. Is it correct...दुःख दर्द भुलाने के लिए.. smoke करते हैं...
V: नह्ही नही... वो तो थक जाते हैं ना...
ME: oooooooooo.. मम्मा के चेहरे को देखने से थकान नहीं जाती... पर smoke करने से थकान चली जाती है...
V: वैसे Saavi... आपको एक बात बताता हूँ... ये सब छूट जाता है...
ME(wondering): अच्छा ...?
V: हा..मेरे आस पास वाले... मेरे जानकार कई साल पहले smoke,drink करते थे... पर...20-25 सालो से touch भी नहीं किया है..
ME (still wondering): ऐसे ही छूट जाएगा...??
V (explaining): मतलब ,... ऐसा होता है..(He looked blank)
ME: oooo तो खुद नहीं छोडेंगे.. पर खुद से छूट जाएगा...?? अच्छा how did your mamma react...जब उन्हें पहली बार पता लगा कि you had smoked...???
V: आप तो embarrass कर रहे हो.....
(i re-smiled sternly).
V: (questioning): कैसे react करेंगी ???
ME: मुझे क्या पता??? I'm not a mamma...
V: Obviously डांटती हैं...
Meanwhile, V was interrupted by a call. Our conversation sort of ended. Par sawal ab bhi hai mere paas..
"क्या SMOKE करना आपकी मम्मा कि ख़ुशी से ज्यादा है??"
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