I just turned 27 the last Sunday.
I know women don’t disclose their ages to public at large. But it’s OK. Buddhi ho gayi hoon main. Exactly if you ask me, at 27 I feel old. A bunch of experiences... A match of opposites... that’s what I am. I am emotional- but have turned heartless. I am wise- but equally foolish. I am strong- but things do make me weak. I am Saavi- at 27.
But it’s OK. I like my life as it is. God couldn’t have given me better. 8 years of Radio career, almost 10 years of Job, a family who will cry if I die and a few people who accept me as I am. It’s more than OK. It’s more than I asked for. It is beautiful.
Dear Reader, you know what- this birthday was the first one when I wasn’t there with my family. Ya, I realized it just now itself. In 27 odd years, first time- no one was along. It was a silent day. I should call it peaceful, but will even rename it as lonely too. I talked to my family. With my Papa staying awake to wish me at night.. ohh he has never done it for anyone else. It was.. Overwhelming. Mamma wished at 11:58 pm… the first wish however. My jiji told… have a chocolate.. feel happy. I had the chocolate and told myself, “Not bad Babu- life is teaching you!” As readers, you might be thinking- Saavi why didn’t you party? Well two reasons- One, I don’t really party- bachpan se hi zara sudhare se hain. Two! I didn’t feel like.
I missed home. I didn’t tell them- but I missed home.
But now that it’s over, and the day has passed, I know I can handle it. Infact, after a real long break- it’s time to brush up some old chapters of my life. 5 chapters from my life. Dear Reader, here is Saavi to open up her heart- narrating those five incidents from last 27 years when Saavi cried. Ladki hoon na… rone ka adhikaar hai babuji!! :P
1. When my hairband broke: Yes, I was barely 3 or 4. An LKG Class student. I remember, I had some favorite things like a phoolwaala chammach (with a rose encarved), aam waala tiffin (mango shaped) and red waala hairband (my school dress waala band). And guess what I never let anyone use these things. Not even my story. Khaana khaaun to bas uss chammach se; shaadi ho, chahe party baalon mein band lagega to red waala hi. And then one morning, jab auto aane waala tha.. red band zara loosened sa lag raha tha—I tried to tighten it up the local way, bend karke .. kar hi rahi thi ke suddenly- it was gone.. toot gaya!! I felt as if hairband nahi mera dil toota ho! I cried for hours.
2. When Kavitji wore my dress: Ok, you may not know who Kavitji is. She is my elder sister. Technically my pair. With similar health and height, people called us twins (but frankly.. she always looked better and prettier)so, one day- when I was in class 2 and Kavitji in class 3- she had an activity where she required a dress in yellow and black- a frock specifically. And my new dress was exactly the same specification. MORAL: as Indian households say.. beta.. didi ko dress de do. But who was ready?? My parents tried it all, while I declared.. “nahi doongi.. meri hai!” Mine is mine.. Jaise dress nahi jaaydaad ho. Finally my family was ready with another idea. As I slept, and the new morning arrived- gharwaalon ne mere saath cheating kar di. And Kavitji wore my new dress without my permission.. (who cared for my permission though ) And plus she was gone befor I woke up. And this moment I felt like a girlfriend whose boyfriend cheated her!! Huh! My home turned a ‘Kopebhawan’. I cried again.. for two hours!
3. When I signed in place of my teacher: I was in class 4. And our Maths teacher Neelima Ma’am always collected the homework notebooks in the morning, before the assembly for checking. And poor me- my auto was always late. Nateeja.. notebook mere paas.. aur dark e ma’am daantegi. I feared Ma’am and her scolding. So, ek naya raasta nikaala, I thought copy khud hi check kar lo. I checked the copy myself. But haaye re phooti kismet- pehli baar hi kuchh ulta kiya.. pehli baar hi pakde gaye! Kavitji was called in my class (beizzati poori hui). And my family came to know of the blunder.
They didn’t spank me.. they explained and the first time I cried for a genuine reason!
4. When I got 80% in class 12: This sub heading could have two reactions- 80% mein bhi roye?? And second.. 80% is fine.. phir kyu roye? So dear reader, actually I was a good student. My previous home boards had been good.. I got 90% in the same.. and from 90% to 80% it was a blow! Though I knew it wasn’t my mistake totally.. as the same year I suffered from asthmatic attacks and kept a lot more ‘beemar’ . But, that’s not an excuse. A good student scoring low.. bad. The only good here was that I scored highest in Business Studies. I cried again because the very first time I realized that a disease can spoil it all. And the time gone cannot bring it back. I cried as a the second heartbreak happened.
5. When my boss scolded me: Yes this is when I was in job. An early job- because destiny chose me. But I was young and definitely non-samajhdaar types. I remember on a weekday a client interview was to be recorded. One of the major education clients. And before the interview, I don’t know mujhe kya soojha.. I asked the client his name. My boss heard it and after the client moved- I was gone!! Asking the client his name was a blunder. Boss scolded me- Samajhte kya ho apne aap ko.. celeb? Client se koi naam poochhta hai? Ohhh No! I was sorry! And I re-cried. Par iss baar I understood that we aren’t the best. The world possesses many more who are worth it and you are nothing!
And dear reader, for all this while you read the stuff Thanks!
Such experiences have taught me that you won’t get what you desire. You get what you deserve. And Ya, a confession, I am not narrating an important incidence that made me cry.. Something like a heartbreak,, par wo issliye.. kuchh secret secret hi rehne chahiye! Rest.. keep readin!