Saturday, August 14, 2010

how to hide the poor...???

I heard it once as a famous dialogue, "clear crime...not criminals"
Who spoke and when- is out of my memory, but I know it's one of the heaviest dialogues, for even I could feel the weight on my shoulders. However, don't worry- I do not wish to create any more exaggeration to the matter. It's simply that I heard something similar to this.

To describe, soon it will time for the commonwealth and our government is purely interested in its success (WOW!!). In the same context, the Delhi government is making hard wave efforts to beautify Delhi (however the more it tries, the least it beautifies- eg. rootless poles, blistered roads, and smashing corruption wealth...sounds good!). And now as an extension, they are trying to hide the poor. So the boiling question is...HOW TO ACTUALLY HIDE THE POOR....

Let's Guess...

As the first suggestion, I feel that the Delhites should better close their eyes as soon as they see any poor. In fact, each tourist board for the commonwealth time period should be marked with a note- 'Please close your eyes with the sight of any poor. We shall think you are praying, but OUR WORK IS DONE!!.   And yes- don't forget to mention a Thank you.

If by chance this measure fails and we cannot force 'each one to close tonne', lets ask our officials to avail on rent- metres of curtains. Imagine, on each gully-cum-nukkad, national highway, railway station, bus stand or others, a waterproof curtain (neela waala) is hung along. And with the plan of 'conceal on sight', each so-called-poor shall run to our curtain every now and then. (Giving the couch potato look to each corner of Delhi....luka chuppi bahut hui...!). NOTE-Do not think of -affordability- as our government already has a lot of this..via taxes.

Next to mention is- Let's contact Aamir Khan. The 'oh-teri!' actor is actually known to lend the poor 'peepli' chance to exhibit what they are. Therefore in this case, we shall request Aamir to please construct another movie on a 90 degree angle, with a shooting schedule of at least 47 days. The peeplis shall act then n there and Completion of  Common wealth shall bring the 'poor' back..all in a moved avatar (3-d..!).

If by chance, even this idea fails... catch the contacts of Raamse Brothers. Why? They could lend us plenty 'naqaabs'. In this case, the government could distribute the same veils on each ration store, (that too with a discount). Infact, this shall  not only mark another  success of Government, but also raise its rare vision. And, I am sure, the Commonwealth will GET  IT!



Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Dog Day...............???

"There is Father's Day, Mother's Day,Friendship Day, etc. But no dog day? Every Dog has his day... but when?"
..........................................................Anupam Kher (tweets on the business of dedicating days)

Now that is something maliciously written by Anupam Kher on his tweet board last day. You must be thinking why 'maliciously'? I have a better reason. Its because he causes quite a lot injury by not counting 'them' as dogs.
(Who them???)

We are brave and intelligent people now, read newspapers each day, watch television every hour and go bonkers over matters each minute. Who of us ne'er know about - Suresh Kalmadi (the country's common wealth super treasurer) or Kaushik (the 'scandal'ising hockey team coach) ...and yet we purposely fail to count them as 'dogs'???

Anyways, I was here to talk on the part of poor dogs! So dear reader, most of us count dogs as no-less-than Gulshan Grover  (the bad man of the area) ,treat their tongues like the hanging gardens ; and instantly don't even forget to award them with adjectives like ...'dhobi ka kutta..' (sorry, but I do not mean to disgrace dhobi or even kutta.. but it's something like ... doesn't sound good!).

I myself possess two dogs namely, Blockbuster and Tuffy, and somehow, I actually feel that no dog is that rogue or knave as he is disgraced. Infact, it seems that the dogs feel rather humiliated when they are compared to the politicians-type-human beings. In a short interview, the dog clarifies-

QUES: Sir, as Anupam Kher asks, when do you wish to declare the 'dog day'?
ANS: Anytime, that Dharam Pa ji is ready. Actually, our blood accounts for him.

QUES: Still, what time Sir?
ANS: It should be simply 'day', but if you force...14 Aug is shall match .(????)

QUES: This has been typical. On one hand you are marked loyal- but right opposite, your name is used for disgracing people?
ANS: Even for us this has been a muddle. We never could understand why did it happen. Infact, we conducted a meeting quite back, where most of us suggested that this must have been due to our eyes- that shed  'kameenapan...' , but in that case even rahul mahajan/ sherlyn chopra should be...

QUES: Another question your 'twisted tail' is a much talked tale.....?
ANS: Even that is a short talk, truthfully , for this Big B should be contacted. He ne'er endorsed Polio at that time, as a result of which we ne'er could avail the 'Polio Ka Teeka..'

QUES: Your night cries give us night mares... when do you cry then?
ANS: Charlie Chaplin said 'cry in rain'...but at that moment we are busy on overtime, so have to manage at night. moreover, the humans make it still busier during day time... the more they cry, the more they get.. so ultimately its the night that lays vacant.

QUES: You had been described in a movie also... 'roadside romeo.....' .How was the experience?
ANS: was actually as a dog should feeeeel.....Infact, as a neta feels...after his speech... (the mobile trinnnnngssssss)